PARKINSON’S AFTER DARK · FRIDAY · DF062

Your Miracle Came with Homework.

October 23, 2026Unsolicited Advice, Invisible Labor & Dark Humor7 min read

An unsolicited health tip can arrive as a gift while quietly assigning me the research, the decision and the job of making its sender feel helpful.

What size bow do you put on a job? I am trying to design the proper packaging for unsolicited health advice, because wrapping it as a gift conceals several important features. The recipient may need to research it, compare it with existing care, decide whether to ask about it and then compose a warm response to the person who has already gone home feeling useful. I think it should arrive in a wheelbarrow.

In my imaginary unboxing, the wheelbarrow is deep crimson and beautifully presented. Under the gold bow sits one small suggestion surrounded by a load of ivory bricks. Each brick represents something I am apparently available to do. The sender has thoughtfully supplied the possibility of improvement. Assembly, investigation and the preservation of everybody’s feelings remain my responsibility. Batteries are not included. Neither is the person who sent it.