People talk about strength as if you are supposed to feel it surging through your veins.

You wake up determined. You stare adversity directly in the eye. You put on inspirational music, make the bed, drink something aggressively green and attack the day like the motivational warrior everyone apparently becomes before breakfast.

Some mornings I wake up and stare at the coffee maker like it has asked me to solve a hostage situation.

I do not feel strong.

I feel tired. I feel uncertain. I feel like my body and brain held a meeting overnight and deliberately left me off the invitation.

But I get up anyway.

That counts.

We have confused strength with confidence for so long that people think they are failing whenever they feel afraid, discouraged, overwhelmed or completely sick of being brave.

You are not failing.

Strength is not always a feeling. Sometimes it is an action taken while every feeling in you is voting no.

It is taking the medication when you are tired of organizing your life around medication. It is making the appointment when you are exhausted from being examined. It is asking for help when pride keeps whispering that needing anyone means losing something.

Sometimes strength is getting through the day with grace.

Sometimes it is getting through the day with profanity.

The day still counts.

Parkinson’s has given me plenty of moments when I felt powerful. It has also given me days when my greatest display of resilience was not throwing the television remote through a window after dropping it for the third time.

We need a more honest definition of courage.

Courage can shake.

It can cry in the car before walking into the building.

It can cancel plans, change direction, admit the old strategy is not working and start again without pretending that starting again feels inspirational.

You do not need to believe everything will work out before taking the next step.

You only need to decide that fear, fatigue, grief or one neurologically questionable Sunday does not get to make every decision for you.

TODAY’S DEFIANT TRUTH:

You do not have to feel strong to keep going.

You can feel frightened and keep going.

You can feel exhausted and keep going.

You can feel absolutely done with all of it and still make one small choice that keeps you connected to your life.

Strength does not always roar.

Sometimes it mutters, ‘Fine. One more day,’ puts its feet on the floor and goes looking for the coffee.

Live Defiantly. — Richie Pikunis