Back to The Defiant Few ←Please Rate Your Recent Loss of Dignity.
In my imaginary patient survey, the blanket gets five stars, the unanswered question gets nowhere to go, and gratitude is asked to approve the entire experience.
Thank you for choosing our organization for your recent loss of dignity. We recognize that you had several competing anxieties and are delighted you entrusted this one to us. Please take ninety seconds to complete the following imaginary survey. Your answers will help us understand your experience, provided your experience can be persuaded to sit inside one of the little circles.
I have invented this questionnaire. It is not a form from an actual hospital, a quotation from a clinician or an account of a particular visit. I simply think the patient-satisfaction business deserves a survey written by somebody who suspects that a human experience may contain information not fully captured by a row of cheerful shapes. Mine begins with an important distinction: the people may have been lovely, and the day may still have been awful. Please do not make me select which half is allowed to exist.