My Children Do Not Owe Me Their Futures.

There is no polite way to ask an adult child whether love comes with an on-call clause. I am asking myself what I expect from my children before age, Parkinson’s and fear start drafting terms on my behalf.

I have a son and a daughter. When children are young, dependence runs mostly in one direction because that is the arrangement adults bring them into. A parent provides, protects, worries, drives, pays, teaches, gets things wrong and tries again. None of that is a loan. The child did not review the terms, select the lender or agree that repayment would begin when the parent’s body became less cooperative.