Back to The Defiant Few ←I Can Miss People and Still Want to Be Alone.
Wanting connection and wanting relief from the work of being company can be true at the same time—and the contradiction can make both needs harder to admit.
Which statement am I supposed to retract: I miss people, or I would like to be left alone? Put them beside each other and one sounds dishonest. Surely, if I wanted company badly enough, I would welcome it. Apparently, loneliness is expected to arrive with a consistent social policy and enough energy to implement it.
I do not think the contradiction is dishonest. I think the word company is hiding several different jobs. It can mean being near someone I care about. It can also mean listening, answering, explaining, noticing their mood, keeping the conversation moving and making sure they do not go home feeling they made the effort for nothing. I can want the first and feel unable to offer the rest in the form I think is expected.